Our tolerance for different points of view seems to be at an all-time low. A hyper-charged political environment, coupled with a global pandemic and topped off with massive uncertainty is making it harder and harder for people to engage in spirited debate about important topics with those of opposing views. I’m certainly guilty of this and hear it from my clients as well. A renewed push for real and meaningful diversity in all areas of our lives – work, media, culture, communities – lands amidst this swirl of dislocation, and I would suggest it is arriving at just the time we need it the most.
I am new-ish to the phrase Cancel Culture, but I’ve quickly understood how damaging this impulse is. Especially now. With a click or a swipe, we simply refuse to engage any longer with people or institutions we don’t like. In my coaching practice, I encourage my clients to respond, not react. The difference between the two is time and space – to think, to check-in, and to speak with words chosen to serve a higher purpose. So, while I certainly see the value of refusing to engage when it comes to deeply offensive speech and action (remember, I’m a big fan of not letting “junk” in) I think it is actually destructive when we cancel something that challenges us.
Perhaps this incredibly difficult moment is asking us to do the opposite – not to cancel but to engage. Not to retreat to our monolithic bubbles but to actively seek out and listen to distinctly different points of view. Isn’t this what real diversity, equity, and inclusion ask of us? To be willing to hear another perspective and be open to considering its merit?
Not so long ago I canceled a follower of my Instagram feed because she made an ethnic slur that I find reprehensible. It took less than a second and poof she was gone. However, it would have been much more courageous of me to engage with her offline (public grandstanding achieves oh so very little) about why she said it, why I was so bothered by it, and to explore whether or not we could learn something from each other. Maybe, maybe not, but at least I would have taken the time to see if I could construct a bridge and not a wall.
My invitation, then, is to refrain from impulsive canceling, to explore the possibility: of deeper understanding and learning; of shared interests, fears, and dreams; and of co-creating a future that allows for true diversity of thought and experience. Imagine!
